


The Saddest Word

by melikaioke



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 11:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6282442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melikaioke/pseuds/melikaioke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something I have been working on for a while. Leanne during the funeral. Pre-episode 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Saddest Word

Leanne stood in her bedroom, her brown glossy eyes staring at herself in the floor length mirror. She looked older than she truly was, her eyes held small bags under them, bags she hadn’t seen from her own time in residency. It wasn’t due to the usually overworked schedule, instead it was due to her lack of sleep. Taking in a small breath she finished getting ready, tilting her head to the left and then to the right as she put on some earrings. Running her hands down her black dressed she slipped her eyes closed, the feeling of his hands against the back of her neck coming back to her. The way he would whisper how beautiful she looked and then kiss her neck. How he would softly wrap his arms around her, pulling her close, kissing the side of her neck and sending shivers throughout her body. She shivered lightly, the sound of the doorbell causing her to jump out of her thoughts. Taking a final look at herself she turned on her heels and grabbed the black trench coat that was laying on the bed. 

Descending down the stairs she thought about how easy it would be to change her mind. She would just tell Michael’s mother and father that she couldn’t do it, that she couldn’t bare to see her husband and children’s coffin being lowered into the ground for the rest of her life. They would understand, they would have too. But her feet kept taking her down the stairs. 

Grabbing her purse from the hall tree she unlocked the door and swung it opened. She smiled a bit as she was greeted by Michael’s father, Craig. He immediately put his hand on her shoulder as she stepped out, leaning forward he closed the door and locked it with his own key. Leanne waited for him before walking down the small path that lead them into the driveway. He opened the door to the limousine and she climbed in, greeting Michael’s mother and younger sister. 

The ride to the cemetery was quiet, which she expected it to be. In fact, she was grateful for she didn’t want to have to make small talk with his family. Leanne had always gotten along with Craig, they were two peas in a pod, but Michael’s mother was another story. She had despised Leanne for wanting to be a doctor and hindering her son’s dream of becoming a Lawyer. But Michael would never admit it he didn’t want that, he only pursued Law school because of his mother, he loved Leanne’s ambitions, her dreams and he wanted to contribute to that. So when she had started Medical school he took a small job at a department store and did night classes to become a teacher. Leanne had gotten lucky, finding someone like him. He was kind, down to earth and he loved absolutely everything about her. He had given her a good life and two beautiful children that had so much love of life it was incredible. 

Shaking her head a bit she pushed the memories away, her jaw tensing as she looked out the window, her heart breaking over and over as she remembered that she would never hear her children laughing again, never hear Michael’s voice in her ear as they lay in bed. Never feel his kisses, and his touch.

“We are here…”

The feeling of the limo stopping caused her to tense again, moving her eyes away from the rows of headstones she cleared her throat. The left door to the limo opened and Michael’s sister and mother started to get out. Then Craig, who in turn offered his hand to her. Stepping out into the crisp air she inhaled sharply and moved forward. Leanne glanced at the rows of cars that had started to form behind her, Michael’s colleagues, friends from college and high school, the kids’ friends and parents and then her few friends from the hospital. Leanne could see Jesse and his family, Neal, Rollie, and even Taylor and his wife. Craig’s hand on her shoulder drew her away to the only family she seemed to have left, as a small group they walked the path from the cars to the burial site. The view of the three coffins came into view and all she wanted to do was turn around and run. She could do it, she had the talent of running in heels. But her legs couldn’t stop so instead she let Michael’s father lead her to the chairs in the front, facing the fate that she was now alone. 

Craig dropped his hand and offered her a chair, instead Leanne just slipped her purse down and shook her head slowly. “I’m going to stand.”

All he could do was nod and sit down, taking his own wife's hand as she let out a small sob. Leanne moved to the side and stood, her arms wrapping around her as she stared at the coffins that held her life. How was she going to go on from this? She had wished and prayed that whatever God was up there had taken her with them. Why keep her here on this earth? So she could save other people’s children, wives and husbands? She couldn’t save her own family, what made any higher power think that she could save others. 

The drown of the priest’s words echoed through her ears, it hadn’t been her idea. She truly didn’t even want to have a service, but Michael’s mother insisted. Leanne didn’t have any fight left in her so she gave all power to his mother, letting her do as she wished. The priest praised Michael’s life, letting everyone know of his accomplishments of becoming a wonderful teacher and an even better father. Of letting his wife, who the priest plainly pointed out, following her dreams and becoming an amazing doctor. Then he spoke of her children, how there were no words to describe their vivacious life, their love of their parents and dreams of becoming amazing human beings. Leanne closed her eyes as she felt someone stab at her soul, they were so young, she was never going to be able to understand why they were taken from this world, from her. 

Biting the inside of her cheek she cleared her throat, her head dropping forward a bit as the priest now spoke of the family coming up to say a few words. Opening her eyes she saw Michael’s sister, Andrea. She was only fifteen, a late addition to the Stevens family. She opened a piece of paper and read a small poem, tears streaming down her cheeks. When she was finished Michael’s father stood, he had sighed and shoved his hands into his slacks’ pockets. He stared down at the coffins that held his son and grandchildren.

“Michael was an amazing man, I will forever be proud of what he has done in his life. Creating two beautiful children, becoming a teacher in a subject he had so much passion for. For loving another person like non other than I had ever seen…”

Leanne let out a small sob as she moved her eyes away from him, the tears she had been trying to hold back slipping from the corner of her eyes. 

‘Were going to grow old together, sitting on this porch watching our great-great grandchildren play.’

Whatever else Craig was saying Leanne didn’t hear, the words were drowned out by the memories they had made throughout their seventeen year marriage. Things that she had seemed to forget flooding her mind, the way he would sing when he made pancakes on Sunday morning. How he would arrange his ties from most favorite to least favorite. How her daughter would write little notes and shove them in her scrubs pockets to find later throughout her shift. How her son, every tuesday before baseball practice would come to the hospital, with the help of his father, and bring her some lunch. Little things that she would never hear or experience again. 

“Leanne...would you like to say a few words?”

At the sound of Craig’s voice she opened her eyes, the tears running down her cheeks, making her mascara run slightly, swallowing the lump in her throat she shook her head. She couldn’t, she was afraid that if she did say anything it wouldn’t come out as praise. All she wanted to do was curse fate for taking away her family, and no one wanted to hear that. Craig nodded and moved from his spot in front of the crowd, instead of sitting down next to his wife he went to Leanne’s side, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Sniffling softly she watched as the priest stepped forward, offering a prayer of guidance over the souls of her family as they were welcomed into heaven. 

“The Stevens, and Rorish family welcome you to their home as you join together to celebrate the lives of Michael, Amelia and James.”

Leanne could hear the creak of the chairs as people started to stand and leave the area. Craig slowly dropped his arm from her shoulder and went to help his wife up. 

“Leanne…”

She turned slightly, reaching up she wiped her cheeks. 

“Ready to head back to the house?”

Shaking her head at Craig she cleared her throat again, “I’m going to stay for a minute...I’ll get a ride back home.”

He nodded and took his wife and daughter back to the limo. Leanne had turned to watch them for a moment, noting that Jesse and Neal had stayed behind, always under the watchful eyes of her two good friends. Pursing her lips she turned back to the coffins, moving from her spot she closed the space between. She wanted to scream, she wanted to go to the man that had run into her car and taken everything that she had loved and scream. She wanted to shake him and ask him what he was thinking? Getting into a car after he had been drinking. But instead she just stared, in disbelief? Leanne wasn’t quite sure but it was all she could muster up to do. That and cry. Whatever type of control she had left was gone and the tears streamed freely down her face. 

She dropped her head and shook it, the sobs overtaking her body and making her shoulders shake. Jesse and Neal had moved closer, knowing that their friend would need them in time. It seemed that time was right about now as she had started to lean forward. Neal quickly went to her side, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and steadying her. 

“Come on, let us get you home.”

Leanne’s brows threaded together as she nodded, she didn’t want to leave, she didn’t want to face all the people that were at the house and hear how sorry they were. But she had no choice. Moving her hands up she wiped the tears from her cheeks and eyes. She let Neal lead her from the burial site back to Jesse’s car. He let her get into the car before sliding in next to her, as they left the cemetery she knew that she could never go back here. It would be too painful, too soon. A part of her would be left on those grounds with Michael and the kids, the other part, whatever was left would need to stay away for the sake of her future. For their child’s future, leaning back in the seat she sighed, her hand going to six month bump that had started to form before the accident. 

She had to hold onto that, regardless of how painful a life would be without them. Fighting the will to cry again she looked out the window, leaning the side of her head slightly against the frame of the car. Neal, who had been keeping watchful eye bite at his lip. Softly he took her hand, he didn’t have to say it, he had already done so when she was laying in her hospital bed, he had vowed to her that he would be there for whatever she needed, and he meant it. 

Squeezing her hand lightly he sighed, “It’s going to be okay…”

Leanne heard his words, as soft as they were. She wanted to protest, tell him that nothing was going to be okay anymore. But instead she simply stared out the window as what used to be her life slowly disappeared.


End file.
